This Book Will Change Your Life

Some time ago I purchased a book called "This Book Will Change Your Life." After purchasing the book I completed some tasks and put the book down as my life was changing. Now that my life has settled down and I am trying to complete unfinished tasks in my Day Zero Project. This last weekend I completed the last take I was willing to do within the book. My last task was to leave a note on someone's windshield. My note: According to the police officer I can no longer follow you around, something about a state law. I love you and will be back after googling it." It may freak out the owner of the car but I giggled like a school girl as I put it on their car.

I have decided not to complete many of these tasks. Some of things I currently cannot wrap my head around doing. Some I know are illegal other so stupid I will not stoop to that level. With that said here are some the things I have opted not to do.

 

• SEND A LETTER TO A SERIAL KILLER. Seriously? Why the F would I want to brighten this rat bastard's pathetic little life. I mean seriously no!
  
• EAT NOTHING BUT ASPARAGUS ALL DAY LONG TO ASCERTAIN JUST HOW NOXIOUS YOUR PEE CAN GET. I'm sorry did you want me to smell my pee? Not going to happen. Granted I do wonder how many people who bought this book actually did this.
  
• DAIL A PHONE NUMBER AT RANDOM AND READ THIS SCRIPT WITH A DEEP SOUTH ACCENT. Please note that it is like a 2 page rant on believing in Jesus Christ and why you should believe in him. Yeah…nope!
  
• APPLY FOR KNIGHTHOOD. As soon as I do something worth applying I will submit. Until then I'll just hold onto the address. J
  
• MAKE A CITIZZEN'S ARREST. Something about this says false imprisonment charges.
  
• EXPERIENCE CHRIST'S PLIGHT FOR YOURSELF WITH OUR DIY CRUCIFIXION KIT. Once again, not going to happen
  
• SHOPLIFT TODAY. Why does it feel like I'm going to get arrested yet again?
  
• PREGNANCY TEST DAY. Here they want you to pee on this page to see if you're pregnant. Whaaa?
  
• SEND $18 TO THE AUTHORS. Yeah to the authors: I'm sure you made money during the book deal. If not hire a new agent. Thanks but no.
  
• TODAY, HAND DELIVER ALL YOUR E-MAILS. Okay I'll get right on that.
  

 

So it's official. I have completed #57. On a side note, I have completed #47. Now I must figure out how to come up with the money to plant trees. To offset my carbon footprint since birth I would have to plant 477 trees (14 trees per year).